Dear guest. Thank you for the gift. Sincerely, the newlyweds.

It seems so redundant, but trust me when I say it’s not all that bad if you do it right. There’s two versions of thank you notes that most newlyweds send. First a traditional, handwritten note on a card in the mail. These are the ones I’m talking about here. Secondly, a printed postcard with photos from the special day.

*Photography by Jen Frieden Photography*

I’m here to tell you all the do’s and don’ts, tips and tricks and hacks to making your thank you notes painless. I will always recommend the “daunting” handwritten, personalized thank you notes because it’s classic, timeless and thoughtful.

But before I was married, I never questioned the postcard with a photo saying thank you. Honestly, that’s all were looking for as guests anyway, right? The photos for proof of the day. Even after I took the leap of faith to do all hand-written thank you notes for our wedding of 400+ guests, I appreciate the postcard thank yous even more. My hand still hurts a year later. So if you’re sending the postcard with your photo and getting them out quickly, you do you. No shame – a thank you is a thank you.

The handwritten thank you notes are very much appreciated by the older guests in the crowd and they can come together really quickly with three small steps.

Say thank you.
Name the gift.
Write a note about the gift.
Signed, sealed, delivered.

When writing your notes, the biggest component to is be specific. This makes your system for writing gifts down when you received them even more critical. When you clearly state, “thank you for the new blender,” it makes it clear to the guest that you received and acknowledged their gift.

Here’s a few samples of what to write:

For a gift:

Dear (guest),
Thank you so much for joining us on our wedding day to celebrate. We were thrilled to receive the bean bag set. We have really been enjoying camping and yard games, so this is the perfect addition for our fun! We look forward to having you over sometime soon and can enjoy it together. Thanks again for everything!

Love,
(The Couple)

For money:

Dear (Guest),
Thank you so much for the gift of $50 – we are so grateful to have friends and family like you! It was a truly incredible day and we’re happy that you were able to celebrate with us. With your gift, we’re excited to enjoy a mini-moon doing some of our favorite things as a couple. We look forward to seeing you again soon!

Love,
(The Couple)

For the person or gift you’re unsure of:

Dear (Guest),
Thank you so much for being a part of our special day and for the gift of XXX. We are so incredibly blessed to have people like you in our lives – my parents always speak so highly of you and it was great to finally connect. Thank you again for supporting us and celebrating our day!

Love,
(The Couple)

The list is endless, but putting a small twist on every thank you note is what adds that personal touch. As long as you have a baseline script to go from, the rest will fall into place.

Still worried? Here’s how I suggest to get through them quickly.

Write the notes as soon as you get the gifts. Some people will start sending gifts as soon as you send the save the date. Don’t wait to send those cards. Cross them off early in the process.
Divide and conquer. I mean this in two ways. Allow your partner to do some, even if it’s just ¼ of the batch anything helps. But also, allow yourself to write them in batches. You don’t have to write 200 cards on the Sunday after your wedding.
Keep the stationary the same and your script the same. You don’t have to reinvent every note. Your college bestie isn’t comparing their note with your great aunt Thelma in California.
Address it to everyone who signed the card.
Keep organized and send them as soon as possible. Use your spreadsheet from sending invites and check them off as you go. That way you can send them out as they’re done and not worry about the notes you may or may not have completed. Additionally, when you’re opening those gifts – have a system for making sure you know who gave what so there is no confusion.
The last piece of advice is to print all your labels or print the addresses when you get the invites printed. If you have to write every single note, plus address the envelope with the mailing and return address… RIP to your hand. Save yourself from that!