Grooms are “just along for the bride.” I was researching and connecting with groom and this quote just stuck. Nothing seems more fitting, especially after hearing all the men’s perspectives. Whether the wedding has happened, is coming soon or the question hasn’t been popped, the theme throughout is that the groom just wanted what the bride wanted and they trusted their future wife’s decision.

I want to preface this with the day is about both the bride and the groom and at the end of the day, the only thing that matters is that you’re uniting and making your love official. Does anything else matter? Absolutely not. However, one article I read wrote that the decisions were usually 30/70 – in favor of the bride.

Is that okay? Grooms? Do you love or hate the odds?

*Photography by* *Kenzi Peterson Photography*

A Dream.

I’ve been dreaming of my wedding from since before I can remember. I have always loved everything about events, weddings and dances. I recall in elementary school “marrying” one of my best guy friends on the playground. I lived for dressing up, doing my hair and wearing make up for middle school dances and then into high school prom and homecoming.

That love for events didn’t go away in college. I started an internship with a local store, SCHEELS, and helped plan kids events and volunteer with the Events Coordinator for the nonprofit events in town, including RAGBRAI and Boys & Girls Club. Then I started my real job, planning events for a smaller University.

Long story short – I am pretty obsessed with organizing, planning and going to events, but not everyone is that extreme. When I met my now husband, he knew that about me. He thought, this is what she loves and I’m going to let her take care of it.

I guess, I kind of thought the same thing. Little did we both know, this is pretty common in most couples. The groom lets the bride do her thing and only does what he’s asked. Sounds like a dream, right ladies?

My Groom.

The wedding is done and over. We’re actually approaching a year. Where did that time go? When I posed the question, “what was your perspective on the wedding planning?” and Is there anything you would have done different?” to my husband, I was a little taken back by his response.

“I wish I could have done more”

What? He said, he loved everything I was doing and didn’t want to change anything, but looking back, he was feeling guilty that he wasn’t more involved.

Now, keep in mind, my husband is running his own business and I decided to plan a wedding during the busiest time of his year – oops! I asked what his non-negotiables were and confirmed vendors and ideas, but he was happy with everything.

*Photography by* *Jen Frieden Photography*

Other Grooms.

I wanted to be all inclusive when I wrote about the grooms perspective, so I asked around. A few grooms that were already married and a few that have weddings in the upcoming year. Again, the consensus was unanimous – they were just there to support the bride.

We asked.

They answered, “I think it’s important to plan the whole thing with both the bride and groom’s opinion. The bride can decide the final decision, but I still want to know what’s going on.”

And that seems valid.

What did you feel like your role was for planning and the wedding?

Picking the food
Showing up to the church on time
Approving ideas
The manual labor: cutting down branches and florals, building decorations

What would you do differently?

Shut the open bar down earlier
I wouldn’t change anything, but that may depend on the couple.
She’s good at this stuff, I trust her.
I didn’t have anything to worry about, she had a vision and I was okay with that.

Any comments on the wedding, planning or your bride?

“If all our family and friends are there, the foods good and the drinks are cold, everyone will be happy… oh and good cake”

Brides, what was your grooms role in your perspective?

He was always there in case I asked for help and that’s all I needed.
I showed him photos and he made what I needed. It was perfect.
His input was the biggest contribution.

There were a few things that my husband didn’t know or didn’t choose on our day – like the M&Ms with his face on them (😜) or the games at the kids tables, but in the end our day was exactly how I envisioned it and how he wanted it. It had my theme, but we knew our crowd felt welcomed, loved and happy to celebrate with us. We couldn’t have asked for more.